There’s something amazing about huge, unwieldy movie franchises. Series that go north of five or six installments have staying power, even if they abandon all pretense of having “canon,” story continuity, or logic. Each has a certain something that helps it stand out and sustain so many films over so many years.

Whatever it is, it worked. And the movie made money. And what works once is guaranteed to work seven or eight times, right? Well, maybe not, but that’s a standard Hollywood maxim in any case.

In the spirit of the season, we’re going back and taking a look at the ridiculously strong Halloween franchise. How strong? Well, it’s survived 11 movies, 40 years, 5 reboots/separate timelines, and more “dead” Michael Myerseses than you can count.

I’m joined by Shiri Sondheimer to watch all 11 films in the franchise. Neither of us has seen them before, and we watch together and comment on the film in a private Slack channel.

For the curious, our reactions to Halloween (1978) and Halloween II (1981) are here. What follows is a lightly edited transcript of our conversation (with Preston Burt, who joined us for this one) while watching Halloween III: Season of the Witch from 1982. This is the ugly stepchild of the Halloween franchise – the single movie that doesn’t feature Michael Myers. After the first two films (and the seeming conclusion of Myers’s story), John Carpenter envisioned the series as becoming an anthology horror series with the holiday being a common thread.

That’s . . . not what happened. The film was so poorly received that it nearly sank the franchise before it even began. But does it deserve its awful reputation? Is it really that bad? Hang tight as we dive in…

Shiri: Oooh. We get BOTH Universal cards again.

Preston: OK, so I’ll say now that the only thing I know about this movie is something about a rotting pumpkin head, and I am so here for that.

Shiri: Ooooh, pixels across the screen in fancy 80s lines.

Jamie: I’ve wanted to see this one for SO LONG. This is SUCH an 80s opening sequence.

Shiri: Is that BASIC or Logo making that pumpkin?

Preston: Man, they’re really trying to rip off Stranger Things with this intro.

Shiri: And also, where is Max Headroom? Does he have a pumpkin head in this? Jesus, I just dated the fuck out of myself.

Jamie: So one thing I already find interesting is that Carpenter did the music again for this. But I don’t know if the Halloween theme is in this one.

Shiri: At some point, I AM going to do some homework because I want to know more about how this one happened. Apparently, the original script was by a British sci-fi writer and then Carpenter got it and then it went super off the rails.

Jamie: “Written and directed by…” <– Ooh, that MUST mean it’s good. It’s artsy.

Preston: OK, yes. So this WAS a BASIC pumpkin logo. Good call, Shiri.

Shiri: At least they’re admitting it’s California this time, Jamie.

Preston: October. Why would it be anything else?

Jamie: Saturday the 23rd is NOT Halloween.

Shiri: The first two were Illinois, but the schools had outside pass-throughs and also, it was green. In October. And light at 6:30. Which is not a thing.

Preston: It snows in Illinois in October.

Shiri: This is my point.

Jamie: So, who is this guy running away from? The Tax Man?

Preston: Either this guy has a pumpkin mask in his pocket, or he has a killer fanny pack.

Shiri: Is that the guy from Quantum Leap?

Jamie: Dean Stockwell.

Shiri: No one’s hair was that flat in the 80s. He’s definitely evil.

Jamie: Convenient chain that just happens to be lying there. Oh come on, that wouldn’t have killed him. The car was moving at 1/2 mph.

Preston: Strangler dude looks like a cheap Crispin Glover.

Shiri: What made that squishing sound when he got crushed between the two cars? Like, that wasn’t a bone sound.

Jamie: The pumpkin guts that animated his body. Really? Why do we need a card that says “one hour later”?

Shiri: Jamie, it’s raining again. Suddenly. At least it actually rained this time. Last time, everything was just suddenly wet.

Preston: Stonehenge clip to set up the creep factor. Now I want to order a Time Life Series of books about the unknown. Great.

Shiri: It was probably Sam Hain who stole the stone.

Jamie: This feels like it was an actual commercial from 1985. I remember seeing it.

Shiri: Those gas pumps are from 1962 though. Perfect for ’splodin.

Jamie: Guys, we’re almost 10 minutes into the movie AND NO ONE HAS SPOKEN A SINGLE GODDAMN WORD.

Preston: Wow William Atherton got fat and grew a mustache.

Jamie: Matronly mother. Check. She’s going to live.

Shiri: I always walk around the house with a cardigan around my shoulders.

Jamie: God, remember the days of cheap plastic Halloween masks?

Shiri: ANOTHER DRUNK DOCTOR. AWESOME.

Jamie: The mother looks exactly like Brunette friend from the first one. [Ed: Because it is! They were both played by Nancy Kyes.]

Preston: Get closer to the TV kid. Poltergeist called.

Shiri: I wonder if this hospital has more than one hallway. They already have more staff.

Jamie: More awesome nurse hats.

Preston: Is Donald Pleasance even in this one?

Jamie: Oh, Preston. I hate to break it to you, but Loomis blew himself up in the hospital.

Preston: WHAT?!! I thought he was in all of them.

Jamie: Whoa. They’re going to thorazine his ass. They don’t mess around. Is this the same hospital room Laurie was in with Mrs. Alves?

Preston: Overt sexual assault . . . great.

Jamie: This is the same hospital. It has to be. It’s just been carpeted.

Shiri: The horrible pattern on the floor checks out. As does the lack of emergency room and the intoxicated physician.

Preston: This hospital’s Yelp rating must be terrible. Cool . . . murder gloves!

Jamie: Everyone needs a pair.

Shiri: If no one slips on blood and give themselves a fatal subdural, I’m going to be REALLY disappointed. Uh oh. Room 13. The murder room.

Preston: Oh snap!!!

Jamie: Bullshit. He’s not opening his eyes like that. He was doped up with thorazine.

Preston: Wait. What!? He pulled up his face skin like a mask.

Jamie: Fuck, that’s always been a not-so-secret horror of mine. Getting my eyes gouged out keeps me up at night.

Shiri: They didn’t even bother to make the blood red this time. They just, like, threw some old coffee around.

Preston: Awww man. Now he’s gotta get a new pair of murder gloves. That’ll never wash out.

Shiri: Nurses don’t panic like that.

Preston: Seriously, are there like three people working in this hospital?

Jamie: If you just found a dude with eyeball juice running down his face, wouldn’t you freak out?

Shiri: Okay, first of all, eyeball juice is clear.

Jamie: Wow. That guy was dedicated to his secret murderin’.

Shiri: Well, at least he doesn’t need new murder gloves.

Preston: What? Why the hell did he even try wiping blood off his gloves if he was just going to blow himself up? So much wasted energy.

Jamie: Firefighters don’t wear their helmets inside a building THAT’S NOT ON FIRE.

Shiri: He told his ex-wife to relax. He’s dead next. Can someone with the potential to grow facial hair please explain to me how those molester staches were ever fashionable? Like, if a doctor walked into my room with one of those things on his face, I’d be like, “Can I see someone else please?”

Jamie: Porn. Porn made them cool.

Preston: We are now at Sunday the 24th. Anyone ever watched Saturday the 14th? That movie was awful and good.

Jamie: Ma’am. Don’t look at him. We didn’t clean up the eye juice.

Shiri: You guys. My hair used to look like that. All curly and huge with the giant bangs.

Jamie: She seems pretty calm for just seeing her dad with no eyes.

Shiri: The bangs and horizontal stripes on her sweater give her superpowers.

Preston: This guy looks like the Brawny paper towel guy.

Jamie: Are they gonna bone? They’re gonna bone, aren’t they?

Shiri: Pffffft. Of course they’re going to bone

Shiri: Hopefully not in the therapy jacuzzi.

Jamie: Or in front the kids they’re babysitting.

Preston: Wednesday the 27th. We really breezed past the 24th. I miss it.

Jamie: Friendly workplace kissing. Nothing weird about that.

Shiri: There’s going to be a pumpkin orgy, isn’t there? Since he has clearly screwed every woman in that “hospital.”

Jamie: Now it’s the 29th?? WTF is going on?

Preston: How you been? OK, you? Oh, just had a guy get murdered by ripping his eyes apart and pulling his face off. NBD.

Shiri: Carpenter Shout Out #2

Jamie: Nice. Halloween commercial on TV.

Shiri: Jamie, are you keeping track of the body count? It’s 2 so far, right?

Jamie: Two so far. Not sure how to count them in this one. They’re not Myers victims.

Preston: No. It’s 3. Dude crushed by car, murdered patient, and blown-up murderer.

Jamie: Ah, Preston is right. It’s 3. The daughter looks totally different now.

Shiri: I wonder when her production of Grease starts. His head is GIANT.

Preston: “I don’t know what the hell is going on” – That guy’s quote sums up my thoughts exactly.

Jamie: He looks like a young Dennis Farina.

Preston: This store set looks like George Bailey’s pharmacy.

Shiri: Is she an intrepid reporter? I’m getting intrepid reporter vibes.

Preston: GIANT Halloween mask sign . . . 3 masks. Womp womp.

Jamie: Remember when things were made in good ol’ Santa Mira? Now it’s all from China.

Shiri: Well, the follow through story thread in these movies is definitely terrible parenting.

Jamie: Uh oh. He’s going off with the daughter and a 6-pack of Miller High Life. This is gonna be good.

Preston: Ahhhh . . . the good old days of draining a six pack while talking ominously on a public phone.

Shiri: Maybe the ex-wife snaps and kills every man in town. I like how they’re trying to make her a shrew, but he is clearly the asshole.

Jamie: I’m going to be singing that Silver Shamrock jingle all fucking week now.

Preston: This is a fact.

Shiri: IT’S AN EVIL FACTORY, lady. That’s why it’s in the middle of nowhere. I feel that the shamrock and emphasis on the Irish-ness means this is somehow going to come down to a leprechaun.

Jamie: This town is evil. Everyone is staring at the out of towners. THEY’RE NOT IRISH!

Preston: If creepy Warwick Davis pops out, I’m outta here.

Shiri: She is neither steering nor watching the road.

Preston: Yes. A plan would be good.

Jamie: Remember when seeing a security camera instantly signaled something nefarious was happening? Now it’s just normal. I feel like this movie has turned into an episode of The X-Files.

Shiri: Rafferty’s Deluxe WHAT?

Jamie: Rafferty talks like the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

Shiri: Why are the pockets of her black coat clear?

Jamie: Everyone in that camper is going to die horrible deaths.

Shiri: What . . . the actual . . . fuck is that purple jumpsuit?

Preston: That redhead kid is TOAST.

Jamie: Little Buddy. What an asshole.

Shiri: I’m sure his parents will be having sex in eyeshot when it happens. Taking your time would be something new in this franchise.

Jamie: See? They’re gonna bone. Isn’t he like 20 years older than her?

Preston: Ooohh, this is the awkward sexual tension I came here for in what I assumed was going to be a Micheal Myers killing spree.

Shiri: He’s vaguely more palatable than Bud the Paramedic in II.

Jamie: Vaguely???

Preston: Just checking . . . no other kills yet, right? I need mayhem, dammit.

Jamie: So far, we’re VERY LIGHT on the mayhem. Maybe one of these cats will die? They’re out after curfew after all.

Shiri: “I ain’t got no diseases. Do you mind if I have a drink?”

Jamie: Gross. Don’t let the hobo drink your hooch.

Shiri: “Sure, go ahead. It’s cool, I’m a doctor. I know about diseases.”

Preston: Why, yes creepy hobo man. Please take a sip of my whiskey after scaring the piss out of me lurking like a psycho.

Jamie: Smoking, drunk doctor. Check. We’re in the right franchise.

Shiri: That’s Michael Myers’ 2nd regeneration: the hobo. Wait, no, third. He fell off the porch, and then he blew up.

Preston: Oooh, next time we watch one of these, we need to play a drinking game where we drink every time they say “Halloween.”

Jamie: We’d all be in the ER by now.

Preston: Hopefully the one with brown carpeting and a nice Yelp review.

Jamie: DAMMIT MR. HOBO! STOP SINGING THE HALLOWEEN SONG! I’M GETTING DRUNKER BY THE SECOND.

Shiri: You know what I like after a hard night of hobo-ing? Spray cheese and having my face ripped off.

Preston: YES! Total decapitation with bare hands and a super satisfying SPLORCH sound.

Jamie: Hobo got killed because he talked shit about his boss. I feel like we’re about two years away from creepy guys in suits tearing the heads off people who talk shit about Trump. This Cochrane guy is ahead of the curve.

Shiri: DOES NO ONE IN THIS TOWN RESPECT CURFEW? Boob shot #1.

Jamie: They’re behind frosted glass. Does that count?

Preston: NOOOO don’t wrap up in that blanket.

Jamie: Gross.

Preston: Gross.

Shiri: OH MY GOD SHE WRAPPED HER NAKED BODY IN A HOTEL BLANKET.

Jamie: OK, she deserves to die now. It’s the only way to be sure. A shower won’t get her clean.

Shiri: :nauseated_face: That is now officially the grossest thing in the franchise.

Jamie: Hey Shiri, is “colossal booboo” a technical medical term?

Shiri: Of course it is. Along with “thingy,” “pointy doo-hickey,” and “stuff.”

Jamie: Wait. She put on underwear AND THEN WRAPPED HERSELF UP IN THE BLANKET AGAIN???

Shiri: Theme #2 of the franchise: Camel toe. REMEMBER, THAT RAYON ROMPER IS YOUR GHOST OUTFIT.

Preston: Hey, my dad just died . . . let’s have sex.

Jamie: You remind me of my dad. We used to bork like this, too.

Preston: Too far, Jamie.

Shiri: How old am I? 15. I’m 15.

Jamie: A gentleman asks how old you are before fucking for the fourth time. In two days. Since we met.

Shiri: She gon’ go join them next door in the fucking. With her . . . I don’t even know what she’s wearing. Why would your faux sari PJ top have so many damn buttons?

Jamie: It’s a microchip. What’s she hoping to find….OOH LASERS!!!

Preston: OH SHIT! TRON!!!

Shiri: Was . . . Did she just got shot in the mouth with a LASER?

Jamie: Goddamn, what happened to her face???

Shiri: Is that an ant or a spider? Or a bee? OH MY GOD, IS IT A BEE?

Preston: Her face looked like she ate some pop rocks and drank a Coke.

Jamie: MAN BUTT!

Shiri: That ambulance is like a clown car.

Jamie: Yep, this is totally The X-Files. Men in white lab coats. What happened to Rafferty’s leprechaun accent?

Preston: That hotelier’s scarf game is on point.

Jamie: Is that Matthew Modine from Stranger Things?

Shiri: OH MY GOD ANOTHER BLANKET, THIS IS HORRIFYING. A “misfire” is what happened the fifth time you guys tried to bone, sir.

Preston: SATURDAY the 30th!!

Shiri: IT IS HALLOWEEN EVE DAY.

Jamie: I sense some major shit is going to go down on the 31st. But it’s just a hunch.

Preston: Whoa now.

Jamie: Why is he asking the coroner to Google some shit for him? She’s not a detective.

Preston: This guy is a philandering shit.

Shiri: “When we have dinner, will you be wrapped in a hotel blanket and naked underneath? Because I sort of have a thing for that.”

Preston: Hope he bites it. WHOA. That’s the lady from Beetlejuice.

Jamie: Beetlejuice.

Shiri: Beetlejuice. The daughter whose name I still don’t know needs to get her thyroid checked. Her eyes are GIANT.

Jamie: Is that Frasier Crane??

Shiri: That dress on the RV family mom is ALSO from Beetlejuice.

Jamie: This town is SO WHITE.

Shiri: I know I always wear a white, Victorian ghost gown when I’M visiting a factory. And Mrs Gutman, whose face got blown off but who is going to be fine, is also now made of bees.

Jamie: Free factory tour? Score! Will there be free samples at the end? Look at this laborious process for making shitty Halloween masks. THIS is why everything is done in China now.

Preston: OK, I actually want to take that tour. Those masks look sweet. Plus . . . latex!

Shiri: I would be dead at the end of that tour. “Dead Dwarf guy,” huh?

Jamie: Wait. Conal Cochrane of Sticky Toilet Paper fame??

Shiri: WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO?

Preston: That kid is so dead.

Shiri: Look, that mask can’t corrupt that kid. He’s a ginger. They don’t have souls.

Jamie: They’re all acting like a pumpkin mask is something they’ve never seen before.

Shiri: “A little bit of this, a little bit of that.” Also known as “proprietary blend.” Which = weed.

Jamie: Seven herbs and spices.

Preston: I mean, they do make two other COMPLETELY different masks at this giant mask factory

Jamie: Right. Are those three masks ALL they make?

Shiri: You forgot about “dead dwarf guy.” Oh, okay, her name is Ellie.

Preston: What’s your theory on the clones? Androids? Clones? Masks?

Jamie: I think he’s just controlling them with his Superlaser Microchips.

Shiri: OMG! They got Jamie Lee Curtis to be the telephone operator. That’s amazing.

Jamie: Was it? Oh yeah, it is!

Preston: Very cool. This music makes me think Killer Klowns from Outer Space will pop out any moment now.

Jamie: Uh oh. Trump’s Secret Service is closing in.

Shiri: But there’s no psychiatrist standing on the corner for a whole evening and only noticing the car after a bunch of horny teenagers have been murdered.

Jamie: Honestly, though, Loomis was useless. He didn’t do anything. This guy is at least TRYING.

Shiri: NO ONE WILL SEE ME IF I CROUCH IN THIS GLASS PHONE BOOTH.

Jamie: And . . . I’m ashamed to admit, I have no idea what his name is. The main character. Dr. Bone Happy?

Preston: Denim Daddy?

Jamie: Porn Stache.

Preston: You know the only thing creepier than the mask factory is the basement of the mask factory!!!

Jamie: It has a player piano. It’s ripe for haunted mischief.

Shiri: I’m glad this factory has a piano AND and old-timey scale in the break room.

Preston: This place would never pass OSHA standards.

Shiri: WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS THAT??

Jamie: It’s Whistler’s Mother!!

Preston: Man, I hate it when my Grandma’s head falls off.

Shiri: TERMINATOR WHISTLER’S MOTHER. That would be a cross-over fan fic for the ages.

Jamie: Those animatronics were WAY BETTER than The Hall of Presidents.

Preston: Crush his head!!!!

Jamie: I stand corrected, Preston. They’re robots.

Preston: Awwww, shizz. Androids!!!

Jamie: Ew. He’s filled with egg yolk!

Shiri: Can you punch through a robot?

Jamie: Whistler’s Mother robot was made in 1785? Ain’t nobody in 1785 was making robots like that. Not even in Germany.

Preston: I love how dude is captured and just defeated a robot, but he’s still preoccupied with getting that yellow goop off his hands.

Jamie: Wouldn’t you be? That shit is gross. IT’S HALLOWEEN!! FINALLY!!!

Preston: Ewww. Sunday Halloween is the worst day for Halloween.

Shiri: Is anyone else rooting for the evil guy at this point? Because I’m sort of rooting for the evil guy.

Jamie: I’m rooting for Linda, the ex-wife.

Shiri: If the robots don’t get him, he is going to be so fucked when he doesn’t pick the kids up for trick or treating.

Preston: No doubt. I hope she comes up in here with guns blazing like a permed up Rambo and shoots her adulterous husband in the process.

Jamie: This is like haunted Westworld. Or . . . just Westworld, I guess.

Preston: HBO should just air this unedited for their next season.

Shiri: Please tell me they learned it from aliens who landed at Stonehenge. Please.

Jamie: Now he’s just a Bond villain, speechifying and monologuing.

Preston: Whenever I capture someone, I always go over my elaborate plans in excruciating detail.

Shiri: They’re space Mormons but with rocks instead of underwear. No, Ms Gutman is not dead, she’s just made of bees now.

Preston: YES!!! Problem Child gonna get his!

Jamie: YES! Demonstrate on Little Buddy!!

Shiri: The kid is going to kill the pareeeeeents. That computer has a lot of blinking lights, so it must be nefarious.

Preston: Actually, as shitty as that kid is, his parents are making him spend Halloween in the secret chambers of an industrial factory. That sucks. No candy anywhere.

Jamie: This is like some Joker shit right here.

Preston: THIS IS IT!! Where did those crickets come from?

Jamie: The kid is made of crickets!!

Preston: Oooh, and a snake! I hope a chipmunk pops out next.

Jamie: As annoying as he was, did the kid deserve that?

Preston: Absolutely. I mean, he threw that bike at the dude. Coulda killed him.

Jamie: Sooo . . . his microchips turn people into insects? How does that work, exactly?

Preston: No. Just their head . . . and face snakes.

Shiri: Let loose the venomous snakes but ALSO please make sure you wear your safety googles while chipping away at Stonehenge.

Jamie: Who are all these kids buying their costumes on Halloween morning?? And the entire country bought the same three masks?

Preston: Man, those kids who got those crappy dime store smock and mask costumes are finally gonna get the last laugh, huh?

Shiri: Also, it is getting dark in all the places at once which is, like, AMAZING. Those microchips are some powerful shit.

Jamie: The tagline for the first movie was “The night HE came home.” The tagline for this one (at least on the novelization) was “The night no one came home.” The more you know. And yeah, there’s a novelization. WHICH I AM TOTALLY BUYING. That coroner has been staring at the same dish of rusty car parts for four days.

Shiri: She’s only the assistant.

Jamie: Oh, she’s gonna get drilled. And not the good way.

Shiri: Oh NO! Not the evidence she’s been touching with her bare hands for four days! Damn. Right in the earhole.

Preston: Welp.

Shiri: 7:30 PM. ALL ACROSS AMERICA.

Jamie: I think she was Death 5?

Shiri: I’m glad he’s strapped to that chair. He can’t fuck anyone else. Sexually transmitted bees.

Preston: Are we supposed to be rooting for mustache man? Cause I don’t really care what happens to him. I’m kinda rooting for this Terrance Stamp-actin’ dude right now.

Shiri: Oh man. Sam Hain.

Jamie: Did he just say samhain correctly?

Shiri: HE DID!

Jamie: Wow. Points to Halloween 3. Hey look, more Halloween on TV!

Preston: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! (everyone drinks)

Jamie: And the Halloween theme kicks in from the TV. That’s pretty rad.

Preston: At least they left him some quality entertainment to watch while he’s tied up.

Preston: He shoots. He scores!!!

Jamie: What a lucky goddamn throw.

Shiri: I am laughing so hard.

Jamie: Did buildings EVER have air ducts that big?

Preston: Sweet. A lighted air duct to escape! What are the odds?

Jamie: He’s totally going to pass the women’s locker room and peep some boobs, isn’t he? Are we sure this guy is a doctor??

Preston: Well it IS an 80s horror movie, and the boob quotient is pretty low right now.

Jamie: VERY low.

Preston: Man, the box budget on this movie must’ve been insane!!!

Shiri: They’re full of boobs. That’s where all the boobs went.

Jamie: It’s Halloween night, and his nefarious plan is in full swing. What’s up with all the unsold merchandise? Seems like some lousy business planning.

Preston: Low sales in Peoria.

Jamie: He’s telling his ex-wife everything like she knows what the hell he’s talking about. WHO IS BUDDY KUPFER?? Linda was not the right call to make there, bud.

Shiri: How conveniently swift Ellie’s return to consciousness was!

Jamie: Maybe she was awake and chillin’ the whole time. Ugh, this is like a Scooby Doo escape now. Behind a rolling rack of masks?

Preston: Ruh-Roh, Shaggy. Maybe these guys are the Scooby Doo villain mask suppliers.

Jamie: OMG! That makes so much sense.

Shiri: That checks out. Doctor whatever his name is, however, is no Fred.

Jamie: Those computer consoles look like they belong on the original Enterprise.

Preston: Wait. Is this guy a doctor or a computer programmer? BEEP BOOP BORP!!! Imma just gonna press these buttons.

Jamie: MISFIRES EVERYWHERE. You get a misfire and YOU get a misfire . . .

Shiri: Throwing a bunch of explosives over the railings seems like something you may not want to do while standing on a wooden catwalk. I feel like that room had a lot more people in it 5 seconds ago.

Jamie: Why did it kill everyone except the bad guy?

Shiri: He’s not a robot.

Preston: What’s with the magic computer portal?

Jamie: Oh man, we’re about to go all Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, aren’t we?

Preston: Oh no! Those top-quality masks!!!! All ruined!!!

Jamie: What just happened? Bad dude vanished and the Stonehenge rock . . . exploded?

Shiri: Uh oh. Ellie . . .

Jamie: She’s a robot!

Shiri: YES! PEEL HIS FUCKING FACE OFF, ROBOT ELLIE!

Jamie: He shouldn’t have told her to smile more.

Shiri: He’s going to pretend like her death is tragic and then bone whoever picks him up by the side of the road.

Jamie: You know he’d still bone evil robot Ellie.

Shiri: Or her neck hole.

Jamie: Think that’s the same goo that was inside Bishop from Aliens? That was white, and this is all egg yolky, though. Are these prototypes for Bishop??

Preston: “Man, that arm has a good grip. Maybe I should keep it for later.”

Jamie: Dude, this is awesome. Her animated corpse is NOT giving up.

Shiri: He must have been TERRIBLE at the sex.

Jamie: I hope that gas station man makes it.

Shiri: Wait wait wait. Wasn’t that gas station near where he lived? And then they drove for hours and hours.

Jamie: Did he just run all the way back from Santa Mira??

Preston: It’s 9:00, you guys. The witching hour!

Jamie: I don’t understand why this movie is called Season of the Witch.

Shiri: They didn’t even use the song.

Preston: This kid is determined to watch that commercial. That is some serious yelling. STOP IT!!!

Jamie: Wait. What? That’s it?

Preston: CREDITS.

Shiri: What was that, even?

Preston: OK, objectively this may have been the 2nd best Halloween movie of all time. I mean, it’s only the 2nd one I’ve seen, but still.

Jamie: I’m not gonna lie – this was actually a good movie as far as 80s camp horror goes.

Shiri: I mean, I’ve seen worse. It’s a low bar, but I’ve seen worse.

Jamie: I think this was better than Halloween II. DON POST DID THE MASKS!

Preston: True. It certainly could’ve used more nudity and gore. I especially wanted to see more face crickets, but I guess they blew their budget on masks.

Shiri: And an actual rattlesnake. And boxes.

Preston: Is the post-credits scene his ex-wife living happily ever after?

Jamie: And Bakshi did the animation. Where was there animation?

Shiri: The . . . fire, maybe?

Preston: Nah. They flashed a bit of a cartoon at the bar before he changed the channel.

Jamie: Oh right. Yeah, their budget was totally blown by getting Bakshi and Don Post involved.

Preston: So now that we’ve seen the movie, the poster still doesn’t make sense.

Shiri: Neither does the title. Or the plot. Or the geography.

Preston: What is the season of the witch, and what’s that creepy face thing? Never saw it.

Jamie: I would love to have seen what the franchise was supposed to become. The whole anthology horror thing. It’s too bad this bombed so hard and they went back to Michael Myers.

Preston: Yeah, this could have been a great Creepshow-style franchise after this with each movie being a different weird vignette that always takes place on Halloween.

Jamie: That’s exactly what it was supposed to be.

Preston: Nailed it.