Growing up as a child of the 80s, Sears catalogs, with their pages of toys, were something to anticipate and absolutely lose your ever-fluffing mind over when they came out. As an adult of the internet age, it’s hard to find that same type of experience, but the annual release of the Hallmark Dreambook comes pretty darn close.

Just in time for May the Fourth, Hallmark has revealed almost their entire line of Star Wars ornaments. (Sorry, no Episode IX spoilers here, you’ll have to wait till December.)

Leggo my LEGO

I can’t wait for the 000 and BT-1 versions (Image: Hallmark)

Cutest out of the way first. If you’re a fan of Star Wars and LEGO, then you’re in luck. Giant minifigs of C-3P0 and R2-D2 are part of this year’s line up! At $16.99 each, they’re perfect for getting your youngest’s Star Wars ornament obsession started. Look for them in stores in October.

Human/Present Relations

Weird that all Threepio wants to talk about is oil baths (Image: Hallmark)

If you’re looking for a more festive depiction of the droid duo, then you’ll want to grab the Peekbuster C-3P0 and R2-D2. Decorated in holiday garb on a snowy base, the ornament has a motion sensor built in. Whenever your kids try to sneak a peek at what’s under the tree, the ornament will play a unique clip warning them off.

I have the Vader version of this and it’s been an effective early-warning system for letting me know my cat’s about to climb the tree. So, y’know, it’s multifunctional. It’s $29.99 and will be available in October.

Dreaming of Toshi Station

If your tree is incomplete without the whiniest Skywalker, then you’re in luck. This ornament of Luke as he appeared at the beginning of A New Hope will have visions of power converters dancing in your head. Luke Skywalker is just $18.99 and will be available in July.

Speeders and Fetts and Lightsabers, Oh My

After the 25th “He’s no good to me dead,” you get to throw it down your garbage disposal. (Image: Hallmark)

There’s a gorgeous trio of metal lightsaber ornaments (Vader, Kenobi, and Yoda) for $39.99 coming out this October. In July, you can grab a speeder bike from Return of the Jedi for $29.99. It’ll be worth it just to hear Ewoks screaming from your tree.

Rounding out the non-Storyteller ornaments is a Boba Fett helmet that plays “memorable dialogue”…though beyond “He’s no good to me dead,” I’m really not sure what else they’ve got. You can find out for $19.99 this July.

The Keepsake Power Cord Binds Us

Ornaments not to scale. (Image: Hallmark)

This year, we get the final two installments of the initial Star Wars Storyteller ornaments (it looks like they’re pivoting to Harry Potter for the next series).

Bringing us dialogue from the beginning of the movie will be an Imperial Star Destroyer, with the requisite Tantive IV being pulled in by tractor beam. I’ve no doubt that it will also provide additional Imperial dialogue during the Death Star battle as well.

Speaking of, to round out the Rebel troops, we’re getting a Y-Wing fighter. It’s a really gorgeous model. Though I am a little surprised that they didn’t go with Luke’s landspeeder or a Jawa sandcrawler to fill in the gaps between Leia’s initial capture and the destruction of Alderaan (which is where the ornaments pick up the story).

The Y-Wing will be available in July (along with the rest of the Storyteller line if you missed any previous releases), with the Star Destroyer coming out in October. They’re $39.99 each.

While you’re at the store, you’ll want to pick up a black Star Galaxy wreath – an absolute perfect backdrop for your ornaments (and their new permanent home when your significant other throws up their hands, says “enough,” and banishes the ornaments from the tree 15 minutes into the new scenes).

The Storytellers line has, hands-down, been my favorite ornament series since I started collecting Star Wars ornaments some 20+ years ago. I’m sad to see it wrap up, but I hope we’ll see a new series next year for The Empire Strikes Back. Bring on the AT-ATs!

May the Fourth Exclusives

Even with “Fourth off” discounts, clear some room on your credit card. (Image: Hallmark)

Hallmark isn’t leaving everything until June or July, though. You can head down to your local Hallmark store today (or hop online) and pick up an exclusive Medal of Yavin ornament (that lets you celebrate A New Hope and Rise of Skywalker if you’re so inclined). There’s a ton of exclusive merch as well. I’ve got my eye on that Cantina Band growler and I’m sure that Chewie apron will fly off the shelves.

Thank you, Peter – you’ll be missed.