Welcome to The First Eight – The Roarbots’ classic Doctor Who watchthrough. We’re going through the 50+ year history of the Doctor Who franchise in chronological order. This is not a “rewatch”; I’m watching these shows fresh. For the first time. I’ll do my best to leave preconceptions at the door, but I have no baggage at all that pertains to pre-Ninth Doctor reboot.

Want to watch along or catch up on classic Who on your own terms? Check out BritBox, which has nearly every existing episode available for instant streaming.

I’m not here to write an authoritative history or connect all the dots among the characters, planets, and eras of the franchise. I’m simply here to correct one of my most flagrant Geeky Blind Spots. And I hope you’ll join me on the journey. There’s only 26 seasons and 8 Doctors to catch up on. Easy peasy.

Welcome to Season 2! After taking a couple of months off in the fall of 1964, the second season kicked off – appropriately, with this story – on Halloween night.

We start off strong with a sci-fi premise that’s set on contemporary Earth. The story is also briskly told over only three episodes, which is the perfect length for this story and doesn’t leave much room for waste. All told, it’s a welcome change of pace (on all levels) from the plodding “The Reign of Terror.”

Is…that what I think it is?

“Planet of Giants” (First Doctor, Second Season, Story 9) is composed of the following episodes:

• “Planet of Giants” (October 31, 1964)
• “Dangerous Journey” (November 7, 1964)
• “Crisis” (November 14, 1964)

If we’re being honest, “Planet of Giants” is basically Honey, I Shrunk the Kids with The Doctor and his gang of companions. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

One thing that hasn’t changed from the first season, though? The Doctor is the same asshole we’ve come to know and “love.” We start right in on him berating Barbara, who – let’s be honest – usually bears the brunt of his frustrations. To his admittedly minimal credit, he at least acknowledges it this time: “I always forget the niceties under pressure.”

Based on the entirety of the first season, I think we can safely assume he’s ALWAYS under pressure. Niceties? What are those?

“Why is she so stupid?” “Why is he such an asshole?”

In any case, the gang leaves the TARDIS to explore a bizarre landscape with towering cliffs that form a kind of maze. So they of course split up. And despite one group encountering a giant ant and a giant earthworm and the other group finding a giant box of matches, it takes them ENTIRELY TOO LONG to put the pieces of the puzzle together and realize they’re an inch tall.

Those towering cliffs? The TARDIS materialized in the crack of a cobblestone walkway.

Yes, Susan, it’s an enormous ant egg.

“It isn’t possible!” Ian exclaims repeatedly. Because sure, he can travel through space and time, battle killer robots, meet Napoleon, and hang out with astronauts in the 25th century, but getting accidentally shrunk to the size of a Smurf is where he draws the line.

I have to admit that the sets for this story are rather impressive, comparatively speaking. The giant-sized objects are well done, even if they’re rather static. The episodes feel straight out of The Twilight Zone.

Frankly, I don’t see why I WOULDN’T climb inside this giant matchbox.

There’s a whole side story about a couple guys involved in a murder and who are trying to sell a new insecticide, even though they know it kills everything it touches (thus, the dead ant and earthworm that the gang finds).  But there’s almost no interaction between our core cast and these “normal-sized” humans.

But it’s this side story, really, that provides the raison d’être for the entire serial. “Planet of Giants” isn’t a historical story, and truthfully, it’s not really a sci-fi story either. It’s a morality tale about the dangers of insecticide and the importance of caring for the planet, which is a theme the franchise will come back to again over the years.

Despite being only an inch tall, The Doctor and the gang solve the mystery of the killer insecticide (Barbara fears she’s been infected but helpfully refuses to tell anyone) and try to contact the authorities. To no avail. They’re only an inch tall.

The real hero of the side story? The nosy telephone operator who figures everything out and sends the police. Well, she didn’t figure out anything about the miniature Doctor and TARDIS, though. They’re still on their own.

The Hero We Deserve

But don’t you worry about them. They figure out a way to save themselves. They always do. Even though Ian is still dubious: “You can get us back to normal size, can’t you?”

“Yes, dear boy! Of course I can!” (sideways, to himself) “….I hope.”

At this point, I’m tiring of the cast. I’m actually looking ahead to when the companions change (soon). Susan freaks the fuck out at the drop of a hat and is pretty much useless. The Doctor has become a comedic parody of himself – belittling and condescending to everyone. And Ian and Barbara? They’re whatever the script needs them to be: smart, helpless, brave, or dim-witted.

Still, despite my complaints, I quite enjoyed this story. It was silly and fun, and the story moved along at a nice pace. Interestingly, this serial was originally supposed to be four episodes, but the BBC ordered them to combine the last two episodes and make the climax move at a brisker pace. (Side note: The DVD release apparently has re-creations of the original third and fourth episodes, based on the original scripts. I can’t speak to them since I watched on BritBox, and the DVD appears to be out of print. But it might be worth tracking down.)

In the end, it was a VERY WISE decision to trim the fat. It doesn’t seem like they learned any broader lessons from this, though, as we’re now staring down the SIX-PART “The Dalek Invasion of Earth.”

See you on the other side!

Please stop touching me.