If you weren’t a kid of toy-playing age from 1985 through 1988 (aka the mother-flippin’ sweet spot), your understanding of what toys we had on our living room floors during that time might understandably be colored by the popularity of modern reboots and remakes.

Yes, of course we had Star Wars, G.I. Joe, He-Man, She-Ra, My Little Pony, and LEGO. But there was so much more.

If you were in elementary school in the mid-80s, you were very likely a fan of M.A.S.K. Yet here it is, almost 35 years after I last saw a M.A.S.K. toy on the shelves, and I’m still thinking about them. Odds are, you are too. (Also, I’m not going to keep using the periods. From here on out, it’s MASK.)

MASK: Mobile Armored Strike Kommand. Even as a kid, I knew the erroneous K was a bit forced – and don’t even get me started on the villains: VENOM, the Vicious Evil Network of Mayhem. But I didn’t care. Because everything about MASK was just pure awesome.

Spinning out of the intense popularity of “transforming toys” that took over toy stores (and Saturday morning TVs), Kenner – the same company that launched itself into the stratosphere with its Star Wars toys – jumped on the bandwagon with MASK in 1985.

All told, there were four separate “waves” of MASK toys from 1985 through 1988. The first two series were by far the best. They included all the classic vehicles that were showcased on the cartoon, and these are the toys most of us middle-age geeks today view with intense nostalgia.

The third series corresponded to the short-lived second season of the show, which sent the MASK and VENOM guys on random races around the world. The toys had some ingenious designs, including a billboard and toll booth masquerading as cool toys, and there’s an argument to be made that these vehicles are actually the most inventive and creative of the whole line.

A final series of vehicles came out in 1987 and 1988 called Split Seconds. These weren’t in the show (which was long over by that point) and had some… questionable designs. The conceit was that all the vehicles split into two different vehicles, but the designs were uninspired and they all basically looked broken at that point. And if we’re being honest, nobody had these toys as a kid. Split Seconds was the death knell of MASK.

In this post, we count down the 14 best MASK toys and ramp up the urge to visit eBay to build your collection. Be warned, however: MASK is still incredibly popular and commands a pretty penny online. If you go hunting, prepare yourself for sticker shock.

If you’re interested in reading a more detailed and in-depth oral history of the MASK franchise, including interviews with creatives who worked at Kenner, DIC, IDW Comics, and more, check out my cover story over at Retrofied Magazine, a new quarterly magazine dedicated to the retro awesomeness we all love. The first issue is free and available now! Go here for all the details about how to get the issue and subscribe to future issues.

14. Wildcat

• release date/series: 1987 (3rd series)
• vehicle: tow truck
• driver: Buddy Hawks

This is basically the WTF? entry. Because… well… just look at it. On no Earth does that design make sense. What begins as a fairly standard tow truck converts into… some kind of vertical fighting machine? I’m not kidding; that’s literally what it’s called. Even Kenner couldn’t figure out WTF it was supposed to be. Outside of the embarrassing Split Seconds line, Wildcat is the winner of the Stupidest Design trophy.

13. Bulldog

• release date/series: 1987 (3rd series)
• vehicle: diesel truck
• driver: Boris Bushkin

OK, I’m not gonna lie. Bulldog is kind of a ripoff Rhino. You can’t tell me that by the third wave of toys, they’d already run out of vehicle ideas, yet here we are – with another tractor trailer rig. However, Rhino (see below) doesn’t so much transform as… have concealed secrets that pop out of unexpected places. By contrast, Bulldog converts into a wicked cool tank. The box claims it’s an “armored half truck,” but come on – that’s a tank. And the “jagged tongue” sticking out the front makes it that much cooler.

12. Condor

• release date/series: 1985 (1st series)
• vehicle: motorcycle
• driver: Brad Turner

If you had any MASK toys at all, odds are good that you had Condor. Not only was Condor part of the original line, but it was also one of the cheapest vehicles, so a lot of kids had this weird little amazing toy. There’s no way this design would ever have passed safety inspections in the real world. Realistically, Brad Turner’s head would be sliced clean off whenever he pressed the button to switch between motorcycle and helicopter. And then look how close his head is to the propellers! (Also not sure how he could see when he’s wearing sunglasses beneath a helmet that has its own built-in sunglasses.) But it doesn’t matter; Condor is incredible. I also have a soft spot for that back tire that flips up for no reason whatsoever.

11. Slingshot

• release date/series: 1986 (2nd series)
• vehicle: RV
• driver: Ace Riker

An RV: just what every 80s kid dreamt of. Seriously, though, even though an RV might seem like an “out there” choice for a vehicle, Slingshot somehow makes it work… because there’s a jet hiding inside! The RV’s body cracks open down the middle and a bright red jet pops out on a launch pad! Let’s forget the fact that the “surveillance unit” would be charred to a crisp when the jet takes off. This is like the Mystery Machine’s forbidden wet dream. (For some never-before-seen concept sketches of Slingshot’s development, check out my oral history article in Retrofied Magazine!)

10. Rhino

• release date/series: 1985 (1st series)
• vehicle: tractor rig
• driver: Matt Trakker & Bruce Sato

Whereas most vehicle transform into other vehicles, Rhino becomes a mobile defense unit (with a working rocket launcher!). And the rear six tires detach to form the most ridiculous little ATV I’ve ever seen. And I adore it! In a truly fair fight, I might have switched Bulldog and Rhino simply because Bulldog’s tank form is so much cooler than Rhino’s. But Rhino is one of the classic MASK vehicles. Just like Thunderhawk, there’d be no MASK without Rhino (which appeared in the very first episode of the cartoon). It’s also the ONLY vehicle from the first wave in 1985 that I never owned as a kid, and I’ve never gotten over my crushing jealousy of all my friends who had it.

9. Gator

• release date/series: 1985 (1st series)
• vehicle: Jeep Wrangler
• driver: Dusty Hayes

I get misty-eyed when I look at Gator. I love this dumb thing. Again, this is a design that would never pass safety inspections in the real world. But in the MASK world, hells to the yes. Gator was one of my faves as a kid, and can you blame me? It’s a bright orange Jeep Wrangler that literally shoots out a boat! There are two little handles on either side of the vehicle. Pull them back together, and the top of the Jeep flips up and pukes out a spring-loaded “hydroplane.” And despite the box’s warning that “product does not float,” it totally did.

8. Adventure Packs

• release date/series: 1986

I know, this one’s an “out there” entry. But let’s take a closer look. The Adventure Packs were clearly a cash grab by Kenner, but I’m not going to fault them for it. Although you could buy action figures by themselves (without a vehicle) via an assortment of 2-packs, that’s all you got: two action figures and their helmets.

By contrast, the Adventure Packs provided a bunch of weird little accessories to help you send your little dudes on backyard adventures. Coast Patrol sent Matt Trakker out in a lifeboat that somehow also fired torpedoes; Jungle Challenge dropped Matt Trakker into the rain forest with a crossbow, grappling hook, and binoculars; Rescue Mission sent Bruce Sato into the snowy depths with skis, a grappling hook, and some kind of flamethrower(?); and Venom’s Revenge featured Miles Mayhem with missiles and arm cannons!

Seriously, guys, I owned all four of these (still do), and they were AWESOME. Sadly, there were four more that ended up being European exclusives, but the four we had here were absolute dynamite.

7. Goliath

• release date/series: 1987 (3rd series)
• vehicle: race car
• driver: Matt Trakker & Nevada Rushmore

One look at the transformed version, and you’re like, “What the HELL is that?” And that’s fair. Even though I gave Wildcat grief above for its dumb-as-hell design, Goliath has many of the same elements. Cripes, it’s a flatbed truck that splits in half, pops up on wobbly springs and reveals two missile launchers. Which, sure, kind of cool, I guess. But what sets Goliath ahead of the pack is the separate race car that ALSO transforms… into a small jet. That makes Goliath like two amazing toys in one.

6. Thunderhawk

• release date/series: 1985 (1st series)
• vehicle: Chevy Camaro
• driver: Matt Trakker

I’m not sure who Matt Trakker had to kill to get all the best vehicles, but he’s on this list THREE TIMES. But when it comes to Thunderhawk, it was inevitable. Thunderhawk is one of the few vehicles synonymous with MASK. It’s Trakker’s primary vehicle, it was in almost every episode of the cartoon, and it’s a Camaro… THAT FLIES. What’s not to love about that? The doors swing upward (like Marty McFly’s Delorean) to form wings – somehow – and the car can simply take to the skies… somehow. It can also drop two bombs from a concealed compartment on the bottom of the car, and it has real seat belts so Trakker doesn’t fall out of the sky when he makes a hard bank to the left.

5. Jackhammer

• release date/series: 1985 (1st series)
• vehicle: Ford Bronco
• driver: Cliff Dagger

Years before OJ made the Ford Bronco infamous, Cliff Dagger was cruising around in his own black Bronco. Jackhammer’s “assault vehicle” form is one of the best transformations of the original line: the hood slides up to protect the windshield, machine guns pop out of the front grill (and pulsate back and forth as the truck moves), and the entire back of the truck pops up to form a rotating turret (where Dagger can sit and fire from even more machine guns). Words can’t explain how much I loved this toy… and Cliff Dagger’s utterly ridiculous mask.

4. Hurricane

• release date/series: 1986 (2nd series)
• vehicle: 1957 Chevy
• driver: Hondo MacLean

According to the box, Hurricane transforms into a “field command post,” but I’m not buying it. This is a tank with a wicked awesome paint job. I mean, I would’ve been happy with Hurricane as just a ’57 Chevy with bad-ass flames. That you could convert it into something even MORE bad-ass? Icing on the cake. Twist the top, and the entire body lifts up, revealing an extra set of wheels and a variety of guns and lasers (on top of bizarre headlights that extend like metallic worms). Also? Notice that spare tire on the back? It’s actually a “terror spare land mine.” Push down on the rear bumper, and it launches off the vehicle!

3. Outlaw

• release date/series: 1986 (2nd series)
• vehicle: oil tanker
• driver: Miles Mayhem & Nash Gorey

To be honest, this was probably my favorite vehicle as a kid (and I owned #2 and #1, below). There’s just so much to love about Outlaw. The vehicle itself was massive, and the Snake Oil sticker on the side was bad-ASS. Seriously, I want a shirt with that design. Lift up the trailer part of the oil tanker, and you’ve got yourself a full-fledged mobile headquarters. Not only that, but a GIGANTIC missile elevates and actually fires two of the biggest missile/bullets I’ve ever seen in a kid’s toy. There’s also a a firing grappling hook, secret compartments, and tons of little doodads that make Outlaw one of the best values for imagination per dollar. In addition, you get Miles Mayhem with an awesome alt paint job and his copilot, Nash Gorey, who looks like the ultimate dweeb (with a penchant for glasses made out of flesh).

2. Switchblade

• release date/series: 1985 (1st series)
• vehicle: helicopter
• driver: Miles Mayhem

As much as I love Outlaw, I have to admit that Switchblade is superior. It’s Miles Mayhem’s (really, all of VENOM’s) signature vehicle, and it’s just as much a hallmark of MASK as Rhino and Thunderhawk. Both modes (helicopter and airplane) were equally cool. As a helicopter, you could press a button to rotate the blades, and little guns popped out of the landing struts. Lock the blades back into place, and airplane wings deployed. This was a marvel of toy design in 1985, and if you owned Switchblade, you were king of the playground. Brandon Easton, writer of the recent MASK comics for IDW Comics, agrees: “It was an amazing design and a very cool toy. Sometimes, toys look cool on TV but the actual product would be lacking, but in the case of that vehicle, it was beautiful on the show and in real life.”

1. Boulder Hill

• release date/series: 1985 (1st series)
• vehicle: service station
• driver: Alex Sector & Buddy Hawks

Talk about being the king of the playground. There was never doubt that this would be #1. If you had Boulder Hill, you were the envy of your friends, and all the kids wanted to play at your house. For good reason! Boulder Hill is right up there with Castle Grayskull, Snake Mountain, and the best of the massive 80s playsets. It’s a service station! It’s an armored bunker! It has walls that rotate out of the mountain! It has fuel pumps that become guns! It has a rotating gun that pops up out of the mountains and launches a huge boulder! It has a secret trap door! It has a jail cell! There’s just so much to love about Boulder Hill, and it’s the undisputed shining jewel of the entire MASK line.