The new translation of Kiki’s Delivery Service by Eiko Kadono (trans. Emily Balistrieri) clocks in at 208 pages; pretty short even for a middle grade book these days (other Roarbots favorites such as Tristan Strong Punches a Hole in the Sky and Skullduggery Pleasant are ~ 500 and 370 pages, respectively). I’m sure you all know the line from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, though – the one that insists, “Though she be but little, she is fierce”? Well… that, but in book form.

Those of you who have read previous translations of Kiki or seen the Studio Ghibli/Hayao Miyazaki adaptation know the story’s premise: Kiki, a young witch, turns 13 and is sent out into the world for her “coming of age year.” She must find a town of her own, a place there, and her own special magic without help from anyone except her familiar and life-long companion, a black cat named Jiji.

This is no simple task in a world suspicious of witches and their intentions, and Kiki must learn how to navigate all sorts of relationships and situations, from daily annoyances to critical old ladies to unreasonably demanding clients, without the help of her parents or other trusted adults with whom she grew up.

Sending a child off completely on their own for a year at the age of 13 is sometimes a necessary part of a fantasy quest, though it seems extreme to us here in the West (and I’d think in modern Japan as well). Thirteen is, however, an important age, one at which many children are starting to transition to adolescence, test boundaries, begin the deliberate separation from their parents, end their time as reflections, and begin the process of building a self. That means, beyond all else, it’s an age at which kids need freedom to start making their own decisions and their own mistakes.

Yes. Mistakes.

Does that mean chucking them out into the wilderness to wander until they find a seaside town to start a small business in? As much as we’d sometimes like to take that route (listen, my 10-year-old just started slamming his door in my face, and let me tell you about the smell in the front hallway where he leaves his shoes), they’re still going to need us for food, shelter, and guidance – so physical space isn’t what I’m talking about here. What I’m taking about is emotional and psychological space for kids to make their own choices.

And emotional and psychological space for them to make… yup, here’s that word again: mistakes.

You can still offer advice, as many of Kiki’s elders do. Sometimes she takes it; sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes things turn out fine, and sometimes she wishes she’d taken the suggestion. In the end, things turn out okay anyway. Because most mistakes, though they can be embarrassing or regrettable, aren’t fatal. You can recover or, at worst, do better next time.

If someone older or cooler asks you to “borrow” a gear from the clocktower the next town over so your town’s New Year’s bells can ring at midnight (or smoke that weed in a safe environment or consensually make out with someone in a closet for 10 minutes), do you do it? Is it right just because that person is asking? What if your gut tells you it’s not? What if there are consequences for other people?  What if the party person’s mom comes home and catches you smoking? What if your friend with benefits has a partner? How do you decide?

How do kids learn to trust their guts, and how do they know when to say, “No, you move?” When do you wait and when do you get on a loudspeaker and declare, “The price of Freedom is high and it’s a price I’m willing to pay. If I’m the only one, so be it”? (Listen, it is not my fault Captain America gives good speech.)

They have to try. And they have to fail. And they have to try again.

Watching your kid fail is hard. It sucks. No one wants to see their child upset and hurting. But if you don’t let them fail, they don’t learn how to get back up on their own – and as someone who’s had to do that many, many times in her life, let me tell you how vital a skill it is.

Are there times you help them pick themselves up or swoop in and pick them up? Absolutely. There are things no one, regardless of age, should go through alone. There are things kids aren’t equipped to handle or don’t have the life experience to process or reference. There are times I wish someone had done that for me because I’m a little tougher on myself than I’d like.

On the other hand, I’m pretty hard to break.

If you strike the right balance with your kids, however, as I very much hope I’m doing with mine, then you get kind, compassionate, empathetic humans who are, and can survive, the storm.

So make sure they know you’re there for them, but let them trip. Let them fall. Know when to catch them and when to let them skin their knees. When to grab the back of their shirts and when to let them face plant. When to tell and when to ask and when to let them search and wander and find.

Know that them being who they are doesn’t make them any less yours.

Emily Balistrieri’s new translation of Eiko Kadono’s Kiki’s Delivery Service (with new illustrations from Yuta Onoda) is available now from Delacorte Press. There’s also an audiobook version read by Kim Mai Guest.