In Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 4, things are tense, to say the least. Reality is hitting the crew like a ton of bricks. The ship’s computer has a new personality. And the Trill are not the friendly neighbors everyone hoped for.

Welcome to another week where we recap, react to, and ruminate about Star Trek: Discovery. Catch up on past weeks here.

Mild spoilers ahead. Proceed with caution.

Recap: The Tension Can Be Cut with a Knife in Star Trek: Discovery Season 3, Episode 4

I’m going to keep the recap brief this week so I can keep it as spoiler-free as possible. This week’s episode revolved around two big stories: how the crew is coping and Adira and Burnham going to Trill for help.

The crew has reached the stage of post-trauma when all their feelings can no longer be contained. People are displaying it in different ways. Stamets is an outright asshole, and Tilly rightfully calls him one later in the episode. Culber informs Saru that the crew has reached its breaking point and needs something to anchor them before things get even worse.

The road to Post-Traumatic Growth eventually begins once Saru holds a Thanksgiving dinner of sorts and the crew finally let it all out. Oh yeah, the LCARS flash red for a moment and suddenly the computer has a new personality. Red flashing is never good in Star Trek. Hopefully, it turns out to be Zora, who we were introduced in the Star Trek: Short Trek “Calypso.”

Meanwhile, Burnham takes Adira to Trill to regain their memories. After a lot of action, Adira enters the symbiont pools. They relive the memories that led up to the joining with Tal. We finally meet Ian Alexander’s character, Gray Tal. Adira Tal’s memories are fully restored, and they are accepted by the Trill.

The episode ends with Adira and Gray having a conversation in a way that feels a little ominous while trying to be heartwarming. The crew is enjoying an old-timey comedy at the advice of the new ship’s computer.

Reactions: Star Trek: Discovery Season 3, Episode 4 was Both Great and Questionable

There was a lot to love about Episode 4 of Season 3 of Star Trek: Discovery. For me, personally, a lot of it was cathartic. The online reactions were also similar.

People loved Culber in this episode. He was a perfect bookend in this episode, guiding people on their own journeys through trauma because he gets it like no one else on the ship. Saru became a leader in this episode, reaching outside his comfort zone in an attempt to bring his crew back together. People also loved seeing another queer relationship, this time between two non-cisgender characters.

However, huge consensus among those of us who are non-cisgender: we are upset that this looks like another fridging or burying of gays, even if Gray is still around in some form. Listen, if you want to do queer relationships, the rule is now to do them like Schitt’s Creek. Also, as I mentioned during last week’s reactions, hosting a Trill symbiont better not be what makes Adira non-binary and Gray trans. Because if an entire planet is filled with everyone having the same gender configuration and nothing to challenge what society has decided is “normal,” then guess what? That makes them cisgender because there is nothing with which to identify that is in opposition and challenges gender “norms.”

But the strongest reaction came from trauma survivors over the use of the term Post-Traumatic Growth. And that is what I want to ruminate about this week.

Ruminations: Times of Uncertainty and Post-Traumatic Growth

My brain is still trying to digest everything tackled during “Forget Me Not.” There was a heavy undertone of family and friends being separated because of COVID-19 and finding ways to reconnect. There was also a heavy undertone of certain political happenings during the last year. When the episode dropped, a lot people around the world were holding their collective breath, waiting to see what next year might hold.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Detmer. When she was reciting her haiku about Stamets’s blood? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been there. Not so much in the form of doing the haiku but in the form of saying things that others don’t find funny while I do that laugh.

All of this and more wrapped up with the affirmation that its OK to not be ÓK. Even more, it’s OK to admit you’re not OK. That is how you get help and grow. Which is 100 percent true.

The really uncanny thing for me about this episode is the fact that I had trauma therapy the day before Episode 4 dropped on CBS All Access and aired on CTV Sci-Fi. During that session, we discussed exactly the above. We also discussed how you can’t have courage and strength without fear… that feeling fear and uncertainty is not bad.

Pushing through it is what builds strength, is the definition of courage, and is how Post-Traumatic Growth happens, which is a real term used. We discussed how my traumatic experiences cannot be removed from me without fundamentally changing the person I am today, whom I love. I grew into a compassionate, caring, and supportive person.

This week, I saw a lot of myself in Culber.

We also discussed how the writers of Star Trek: Discovery must have talked with experts because of how accurately Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome was portrayed during Seasons 1 and 2 and how wonderfully working through it is being portrayed so far in Season 3.

And as happy as being able to ruminate about these realities and how perfect Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 has been in mirroring our current times, collective global trauma, and reconnecting with our loved ones, I really hope I soon get to ruminate and be joyful about queer representation in Star Trek.

Until next week, Live Long and Prosper.