There are more than a few 80s movies that crank the Nostalgia Factor up to 11 for me. But The Goonies, The Neverending Story, and Explorers might just be top of that list.

So when I saw that Shout! Factory was releasing a new collector’s edition Blu-ray of Explorers, I jumped. It wasn’t until I was loading the disc into the PS4 that I realized, as warm and fuzzy as the IDEA of the film made me feel, I hadn’t actually SEEN it since I was a kid.

How would it hold up? Would it be a legit hit with my kids (like Back to the Future or Labyrinth), or would it fall on its face (like The Neverending Story)? I tried not to hype it too much, but come on… Explorers has strong Stranger Things seeds, and they adore that show.

So? Does it hold up?

Meh…

Listen, Explorers was never much of a hit, even back in the day. The (fascinating) making-of documentary on this new Blu-ray doesn’t pull any punches at how much it failed both financially and critically in 1985. Director Joe Dante was riding high with the success of Gremlins (1984) and probably could’ve made any movie he wanted to after that. The fact that he went with Explorers is revealing, but it just doesn’t measure up.

Interestingly, it hasn’t gained a cult or nostalgia following like some 80s flops have. Indeed, many people my own age, who should have memories of this movie, have simply forgotten all about it. If they do remember it, it’s only because of the Tilt-a-Whirl… or because it stars River Phoenix and Ethan Hawke.

I’m not gonna cut corners here. My kids (9 and 12) hated it. This wasn’t a “wow, dad, that one didn’t age well.” No. This was a “dear lord, dad, this movie is just plain awful by any measure!” They almost didn’t make it to the end.

I’ll admit that the 80s were a weird-ass time that gave us some weird-ass movies. And Explorers is one of the weird-assest.

The bones of the film are strong, no doubt. Among 80s-kids-adventure movies, this is cream of the crop. Like I said, Explorers was clearly a strong influence on Stranger Things – from the overall aesthetic to the character archetypes to the walkie-talkies. (The lesson my daughter took away – aside from cringey middle school sexism – was “This is what happens when parents ignore their kids.”)

And the first 2/3 of the movie is great, even if the pacing and characterizations sometime feel a bit off. Watching Baby River Phoenix (who totally plays against his later type) and Baby Ethan Hawke in their first screen roles is awesome. And the montage of the trio (with Jason Presson) stealing the Tilt-a-Whirl and getting it spaceworthy is fantastic.

However, just when the movie should knock it out of the park – when the kids finally go to space – it falls painfully flat. I mean, I love me some Robert Picardo, but the aliens that appear during the climax are awful. Time slows to a crawl as we’re subjected to an interminable sequence of Picardo’s alien singing, dancing, and reciting ancient TV jingles and catch phrases.

And then, just like that, the movie ends so abruptly, it seems like the production crew just ran out of time. (Which they, in fact, did. The film never finished production. The studio told Dante to stop editing before he was finished, and the film was rushed into theaters.)

Most of 80s pop culture is best viewed through rose-colored glasses, and as a piece of that retro nostalgia, Explorers can’t be beat. Especially if you have fond memories of it from your childhood. However, for modern audiences, it sadly doesn’t hold up.

The new release from Shout! Factory is loaded with goodies, though, if you’re a fan of the film.

• The home video (Dante’s preferred version) and theatrical cuts of the film
• “A Science Fiction Fairy Tale: The Story Of Explorers“: A 65-minute retrospective featuring new interviews with director Joe Dante, Screenwriter Eric Luke, Ethan Hawke, Ernest Cline (of course), and more
• Deleted scenes with optional commentary by Joe Dante
• Interviews with cinematographer John Hora and editor Tina Hirsch
• Theatrical trailer

In terms of video quality, don’t expect anything mindblowing. I don’t think this is a new, higher-quality transfer from what was previously available, and I definitely noticed graininess throughout. It’s certainly a step up from VHS or DVD, but I wasn’t blown away with the picture quality on Blu.

The audio – both DTS-HD 2.0 and 5.1 mixes – is spectacular, though. Which makes Jerry Goldsmith’s soaring sore all the more enjoyable.