It isn’t a year without some kind of DC reboot. At New York Comic Con 2019, the company announced plans to rearrange and streamline their comics continuity. And earlier this year, Warner Brothers Animation released the news that they’d be bringing the current cycle of the DCAU to a close and would be starting it anew.

Whether or not the books, animated features, and new DC live-action films will sync across media platforms the way Marvel properties have is unclear, and we don’t yet know the full effect the current pandemic – or the Diamond closure – will have on the company’s larger plans or the timeline thereof.

Nevertheless, none of that affected the digital release of Justice League Dark: Apokolips War, the grand finale of the animated universe… though you may end up waiting a little longer than anticipated for physical copies. Warner Brothers was kind enough to send me a screener so I could take a look at the film and let you all know what I thought.

The Plot

After watching Darkseid conquer countless world, the Justice League, along with the Teen Titans and the supernatural denizens of the DCU, decide to go on the offensive and attack Apokolips. Alas, their mission fails and most of the heroes are either killed or enslaved.

Those who remain return – with their powers depleted – to an Earth that has been conquered by the forces of Apokolips and is being mined for its last few resources. Clark, Raven, and Lois, the leaders of a tiny resistance movement, have a plan, but they need John Constantine’s help and neither he nor his buddy Etrigan are in particularly charitable moods.

Can they succeed? Is it even possible to defeat Darkseid? Why do all the women have to fight for their lives with their cleavage showing and butt cheeks hanging out when Clark regenerates from Kryptonite poisoning and shirtlessness wearing his whole-ass suit? Inquiring minds want to know.

Things I Liked

So, as mostly always, I’m going to break this review into “Things I Liked” and “Things I Could Have Done Without.”  Let’s go high first.

• Screen acknowledgment of John Constantine’s long-standing canon bisexual status… along with the knowledge that he bottomed for the also-apparently-bi King Shark. This is one of best things that has ever happened in any comics universe, the world of us mere mortals is vastly improved by it, and I will not be taking questions.
• Matt Ryan is, as always, the best Constantine who ever Constantined.
• Apokolips War has the best Etrigan content that has ever been written. Straight up. Every single moment of his screen time is a Satanic blessing.
• Damian Wayne was still a snarky little shit, but he was a snarky little shit with a sense of responsibility and the willingness to apologize for his mistakes. He was also a Damian who was willing to display and discuss emotions with people who were important to him. It was nice to get some glimpses of the man he was going to become and the ways in which he has learned from, and was going to be better than, Bruce.
• I adore this incarnation of Lois. She isn’t going to hide. She isn’t going to back down. She is willing to use her own life to fuel Clark’s fire for the final smackdown. She is smart, she is brave, she is dedicated, and she is going to get shit done no matter the consequences.
• I can go either way on the Suicide Squad, depending on the members and who’s bringing them to life. However, the group used in Apokolips War and the voice actors cast to flesh out the already fantastic dialogue were spot on. I am well pleased.

Things I Could Have Done Without

• Someone broke my emotional support himbo. I need him right now, and I am not okay.
• I did not need to see Bruce Wayne beat the crap out of and then fatally stab his son. I know the argument will be “But he was under Darkseid’s control.” I. Don’t. Care. I am telling you that I didn’t need, nor did I want, to see it.
• Reintroducing Damian’s conception by sexual assault (Talia drugging Bruce), weaponizing it, and then blowing it off instead of having Bruce and Damian talk about it. They had time, but, as always, it was dismissed. This is not something they can hug out, people.
• I swear to Trigon, if anyone says “Flashpoint” one… more… time…
• I’m fine with violence in animation. I’m not sure I needed to see Batgirl get her arms torn off… or any of the other heroes actively dismembered, actually. It wasn’t fake enough to be silly nor realistic enough to be gross; rather, it was somewhere in between and was… blarg.
• Damian + Raven: Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Nope. And also, nope.
• The women’s costumes need a revamp. It’s time. No more boob windows. No more Daisy Dukes. No more crotch drapes. No more corsets. Especially not when said characters are MINORS. Enough. I know you think it’s funny or ironic or some kind of social commentary, but it’s not. We all saw Batgirl of Burnside. We know you can do better. So do it.

In Conclusion…

While I’m not sure I would watch Apokolips War again, I for the most part enjoyed it, which is saying something in the year of our trashfire 2020. It also means something when I consider that I’ve actively disliked the last couple of DCAU animated features (I’m still waiting for that 120 minutes of my life back after Wonder Woman: Bloodlines).

I definitely agree that it was time for the era of the Bat to come to a close, and I hope we can spend some time getting to know characters besides the Trinity, Running Man, and Fishboi in whatever new universe the company has planned. And I’m excited for those stories.

Also, it’s the 21st century. Can we please get everyone some pants?

Justice League Dark: Apokolips War is available on digital and streaming platforms now. The Blu-ray is expected May 19th.