If you want to go to a movie but don’t want to sit in a theater full of children sure to be drawn to a certain still-completely-animated movie about lions, and if you’re superheroed out, good news: that movie about the alligators is actually pretty good. And it’s probably, but maybe not entirely, better than that one from the 90s about a killer gator (or maybe croc? Who cares.)

It’s a Disaster Movie With Alligators

Anyone who knows me knows that shark movies are like catnip to me. I’ll go out of my way to watch a movie about sharks attacking people. Whenever someone asks my opinion of a shark movie like The Meg, I have to warn them that I’m probably not the most unbiased person. (For the record: The Meg is awesome, because it has sharks and Jason Statham.)

There are objectively bad shark movies (every one with “nado” in the title) and objectively good ones (The Shallows – seriously, see this one), but I don’t even care how awful 47 Meters Down: Uncaged looks. I’ll be there opening night.

Since this review is starting to be Rob’s Confessional time, I’ll also admit to a weakness for disaster movies. I mean, I saw both Geostorm and Hurricane Heist in the theaters.

It might follow logically that other movies about people being attacked by aquatic or semiaquatic monsters would naturally draw my attention. Generally, the answer is probably no, but big creatures attacking in a disaster movie? You know I’m there.

Which of course brings us to Crawl, a movie about alligators attacking a woman (Kaya Scodelario) and her dad (Barry Pepper), who get themselves trapped in the crawlspace beneath their Florida home just as a massive Category 5 hurricane rolls in. Oh, and there just happen to be alligators. Because Florida.

It’s Realistic (Or At Least Realistic-ish)

Remember back when the studio decided to milk the Jaws franchise way past the point of making sense and had the sharks have some kind of psychic connection to the Brodys? Or how about Deep Blue Sea, with it’s genetically engineered superintelligent Mako sharks? (Note: I like Deep Blue Sea.)

The folks behind Crawl understand that alligators are freaking terrifying all by themselves. They don’t need backstory or an evil scientist behind them. They’re fast, they have lots of sharp teeth, and unlike sharks, they growl.

So thankfully, the movie doesn’t have these gators be anything special. They’re just hungry alligators acting like hungry alligators, and that’s enough.

It Has Characters We Care About

The vast majority of the movie has only two characters – Scodelario’s Haley and Pepper’s Dave. There’s some family drama backstory to keep things interesting and some obligatory flashbacks, but overall these are two pretty normal people who care about each other, and that’s enough to make us want to care about them as well.

Oh, there’s also a dog. But I’d have to get into spoiler territory to talk more about the dog.

And The Characters Only Do Two Really Dumb Things

One, of course, is heading into the crawlspace under the house as a hurricane bears down on them. Haley wasn’t supposed to be in the hurricane at all. She is at the University of Florida (the Gators – get it?) when her older sister calls to say she hasn’t heard from their dad who lives in the path of the hurricane. So of course Haley’s first thought to is drive into the path of the storm to try to find dad, who, it turns out, thought that going into the crawlspace (I’d say “creepy crawlspace,” but aren’t they all?) of the house right as the massive storm was approaching was a smart move. 

The other really dumb thing happens late in the movie, but I’m going to pass on talking about it because it’d be a spoiler.

But It Did Cast a 27-Year-Old Actress As A College Student

Hollywood is all about casting late-20s people as teenagers these days. And it is the weakest point in the movie.

They put her in college so she can be on the swim team, which they needed to do to establish that she’s a much-better-than-average swimmer so it’s believable when she has to start swimming with living dinosaurs coming after her.

I assume that the script wasn’t written for her and that the writer had in mind casting a younger actress. But, Hollywood. What’s annoying about it is that once Scodelario got the part, there was no real reason to keep her as a student. She could have as easily been a former college athlete, and maybe now a coach, and they would have gotten to the same place swimming-skill-wise with a more age-appropriate backstory.

It Confirms Everyone’s Worse Fears About Florida Crawlspaces

Because there are definitely gators in every one.

The Effects Are Really Good

Wait, there are effects? OK, I’ll assume the producers didn’t stick two B-list actors in a cramped space with real gators. So, they’re really good. The creatures genuinely didn’t look CGI at all.

It’s Probably Good For Date Night

You aren’t taking your kids to Crawl, but mainly because there’s no way they’re letting you not see that other CGI animal movie.

As for date night… well, the theaters showing Crawl are going to be a lot less crowded now that that Disney film is out. And the movie contains several jump scares, so if that’s your jam, go for it.

It’s Not Needlessly Gory

I mean, by the time the credits roll, the alligators aren’t exactly starving, but the movie doesn’t relish in blood and gore, as it easily could have.

You Don’t Need a Pee Break

The movie is 87 minutes long. Go beforehand, or just hold it.

But It Doesn’t Have Betty White

If you’re wondering if I was ever going to get around to actually comparing the movie to Lake Placid, thanks for sticking with this and reading this far.

See, the thing is, while I’m a shark movie aficionado, this is only maybe the second or third alligator (or crocodile, whatever) movie I’ve seen, and Lake Placid is the only one that quickly comes to mind. But I like Lake Placid. A lot. It suffers from “there’s no reason that alligator/crocodile/who cares would be in that lake” problem, but overall, it’s a very good movie. And so, ultimately, is Crawl.

But one thing Crawl most definitely lacks is Betty White. And since her performance is 99% of the reason to watch Lake Placid, I’m OK making the claim that Crawl is probably the better overall alligator movie.